This feels like some next-level gaslighting

Image by Renata Re from Pixabay

In my journey to improve my health and wellness, I’ve gotten lost within the dark side of the fat acceptance, body positivity, and Health At Every Size (HAES) communities.

Hi, I’m Holly, and I’m a food addict. I’m technically obese. My weight hopped into that range when I gained 60 pounds (in one year!) about five years back. I’ve slowly gained about 10 more pounds since then.

Most of this is a result of my struggle with binge eating, binge drinking, and spending more quality time with Netflix and Hulu than any sane person should.

Over the past several months…

Right now I think the message is I have no idea what the f*ck I'm doing? Writing is really a working-through/processing tough feelings for me.

Does curiosity kill the relationship?

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Have you ever thought about sneaking a peek at your significant other’s phone? More importantly — have you ever given in to the temptation and actually done it?

I have. Very recently.

For the first time ever in our 11-year relationship, I snuck a glimpse at my husband’s phone, which he had left out on the table after going to bed.

According to a survey by Whistle Out and Lux Insights, 50% of Americans admit to looking through their partner’s phone without said partner’s knowledge or permission. I’m not proud to admit that I’m among them.

I am not a…

Does my platonic friendship have such little value?

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On Friday night, I was chatting with my friend on Facebook messenger. For the sake of protecting his identity, we’ll call him…Max. Max and I know each other in real life. We live in the same town, and our kids are both involved in some of the same extracurricular activities.

Now that things are opening up a bit, we recently gathered in person, outdoors, in a large group. It was an amazing thing, being able to see and talk to friends. I even hugged a few people.

Max and I had a chance to get caught up face to face…

New medications have a big impact on my anxiety

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When I arrived at the Wilmington Air Park mass vaccination center in Wilmington, Ohio, my heart rate was up before I was out of the car. As I waited in line, my anxiety was palpable.

After a quiet old woman wordlessly jabbed me in the deltoid muscle, I sat with my husband for the obligatory 15-minute period to make sure we didn’t have a horrible reaction.

I paid attention to my body. My breathing, my pulse, any pain I felt. At the same time, I also talked to my partner as a way to distract myself. To avoid paying too

It has its challenges — but our first time in a hot tub was a rousing success

Photo by Lacheev on iStock

Recently, my husband and I took a short weekend away to a secluded cabin in the woods. Hocking Hills is beautiful, especially at the start of spring. And while the area offers scenic trails leading to some insanely gorgeous natural formations, we actually didn’t leave the cabin the entire time.

It was a mixture of needing to catch up on sleep, and also feeling so relaxed with the fireplace, the view, and the wine. Staying in was downright hypnotic, so we unapologetically did what we wanted.

We’re all going a little stir-crazy at this point

Photo by Satheesh Sankaran on Unsplash

It’s been one wild and crazy night for a group of monkeys, who are still on the loose in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Reported sightings began trickling into the police department at around 10 p.m. on Wednesday, April 7. Thursday morning, police confirmed that five monkeys are indeed out and about on the Queen City’s West Side, including some that were spotted swinging from the trees at Saint Joseph’s Cemetery at West Eight Street and Enright Avenue.

Police are working together with the Cincinnati Zoo in an effort to round up the adventurous primates, which were caught on video doing some monkey…

He put himself out there for me even when I couldn’t

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

I can’t say there was one specific goal when I started putting my thoughts and feelings out there for all the internet to see. When I dove headfirst into online writing over two years ago, my hopes were plentiful and far-reaching.

I wanted to express my creativity, connect with a community of readers and writers, improve my craft, and earn an income doing something I was passionate about.

I also wanted to be able to work through my emotions. For me, writing has always been good for my mental health.

But on top of all that, I wanted to share…

A smaller writer’s income for January, February, and March

In February and March of 2021, I’ve earned the most I’ve ever earned on Medium in my two years of writing here.

Despite this, as a writer with a smaller following, I’ve been a little freaked out by the many recent articles, videos, and social posts from big-name writers who have been telling us that Medium’s algorithm change is a big problem, and that stats are in the toilet.

I digested a lot of Medium doomsday stories from several popular writers and, at first, I was pretty stressed.

These are successful, experienced people whose content I enjoy. Writers I look…

Innocent game for tweens, or demonic summoning? You be the judge.

Image by underworth from Pixabay

Looking back on all the sleepovers of my childhood, I can remember a blur of fun and funny memories that shimmer in and out of focus.

Things like braiding my friend’s hair while watching our favorite movies. Gossiping about boys or breaking into impromptu fashion shows on a runway of sleeping bags. Talking about life all night long after we were supposed to be “sleeping.”

Then there’s that time-honored tradition of…you know…attempting to summon demons from the burning pyres of hell.

Just your good old-fashioned gal-pal fun!

Maybe I’m being dramatic, but we got up to some seriously dark stuff…

Holly Bradshaw

Curious creature, pursuer of passion, unbeliever in limiting or lengthy bios. Email me at

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